The idea at the beginning was very simple and technical – I wanted to learn how to set up composition and lighting. I even bought a Blythe doll on AliExpress just so I could adjust the shapes, take a photo like I was painting a still life, and then add the missing details later in Photoshop.
But right at the start, when I was just laying down the outlines for this painting, something happened. I somehow cut my finger. I thought, “Hmm, this could be the perfect signature, one that nobody can fake.” So I marked this painting with my own blood. Looking back, that was probably one of my biggest mistakes.
The original version of the painting didn’t look like what you see now. Where the daisy is now, there was a little pink demon dressed in an angel costume, pretending and whispering into the doll’s ear. The doll herself was holding a needle in her hands, and the teddy bear had one needle stuck in its eye, and two others – straight into its heart.
Right around the time I was painting this, I started talking again to a blonde girl I knew from a while back. I showed her the process of this painting, and suddenly, weird coincidences started popping up. First – there was a butterfly pinned to the flowers sitting on her windowsill. If you look closely at this painting, you’ll also see a butterfly among the flowers. Then we realized she had a very similar teddy bear, a similar bow, a similar dress. It just felt like an interesting, innocent coincidence, and after a long time, we decided to meet up in person.
When we met, only a few seconds passed after we locked eyes, and I felt this inhuman, sharp pain in my head. Like someone had shoved a needle right into my eye. Both she and I started feeling dizzy, overwhelmed by this unexplainable sensation. It became really hard to even communicate. After a few minutes, we decided to reschedule the meetup because clearly, something was wrong. When I felt that stab, I instantly knew it had something to do with the painting. The spot was just too specific.
A few weeks later, we tried to meet a second time. This time, I felt that same inhuman stab, like a needle, right in my heart. The pain was so physical that my vision went dark. She didn’t feel anything this time, but being next to her made me feel so intoxicated, like something was ringing in my head. I stayed for a couple of hours, went home, sat down, and stared at that painting for a long time.
I realized that maybe that teddy bear in the painting was me. And I really didn’t want a third stab to the heart.
I decided I needed to change something. I removed the needles… well, actually, I just painted another layer over them, hiding them inside. I put thread in the doll’s hands, and I gave the teddy bear stitches – as if a heart that was once torn out had been sewn back in. I pulled the needle out of the eye, too. The only thing left was that demon. I looked at it for a long time, and finally, I hid it under a pretty little flower. But it’s still there. Inside.
“A little demon is hiding in this shadow.”
I left the painting like that. It hung above my head for about 4 or 5 years. But the whole time, it gave off this… curse. It didn’t resonate with me at all. I felt something secretive in it, something hidden. Something lurking in the dark, watching you, just hiding under a layer of paint.
So I decided to just burn it. I threw it straight into the fire. It’s a common practice for me, I’ve destroyed many of my artworks before, but this time it was different.
Now, writing this, I just realized another thing. The exact day I burned the painting, I completely cut all ties with the girl this artwork reflected. Interesting coincidence, isn’t it?
I know the answer myself whether it’s a coincidence or not. But whether to believe it or not – I’ll leave that up to you. I’m not going to convince anyone about what is possible and what isn’t, whether it’s energy, fate, or some kind of mysticism. Weirder things have happened in my life. Everyone can draw their own conclusions.
As for the painting itself – it’s gone now. All that’s left is this photo.
I won’t use any AI upscaling to boost the resolution and make it look prettier or smoother, because I don’t see the point. I don’t want to change a single pixel or the energetic reflection of this painting. The original was quite small (about 20×11 cm), so if you decide to get this print, it will be in a small format. Exactly as it is. With everything that is hidden inside it.